Enter the Matriarch: Professional Women and Cultural Conflict

Like many coaches and practitioners, I witness incredibly gifted, highly intelligent and innovative women demeaned and reduced because of workplace-induced stress. I love my work because it releases the damage, helps women manage their bodies through stress and realign their perspective so they become centered, laser-focused, and successful. 

But if women are struggling at work at least, in today’s world, we can be assured that women are not shouldering the burden of household and child-rearing and societal expectations as well and … oh, wait. They are. Still. STILL. Is there an angry emoji eye-roll?

As well as workplace-induced stressors, women have to handle family interference. And while it happens here in the, ahem, enlightened US, family interference in western cultures tends not to be as consistently impactful as in other cultures that definitely have their own goal posts. For example, Chinese, Pakistani, and Indian cultures emphatically insist on the traditional “place” of the woman in the household. This can be stridently at odds with who she is as a successful professional woman -- even if she’s living in a western culture.

A 2014 study by H.M. Wang et al, says that despite exposure to multicultural exchange and integration –- that apparently allows for greater acceptance of gender equality -- familial interference can be an overwhelming factor in women’s underperformance, stalling of careers, and/or leaving jobs (“Influence of Professional Women’s Work and Family Conflict on the Turnover Intention in Cultural Enterprises").

And then there's the extended family. For a number of world cultures, it’s perfectly normal to live with extended family. The household can consist of a woman, or a woman and her partner, their kids, along with grandparent/s, and an occasional aunt or uncle, and maybe a brace of extra kids from some aunt or cousin.

So our professional woman is dealing with workplace stressors and familial interference -- but wait. There's more.

Brace yourself: enter the matriarch. We know. We've seen Monster-in-Law -- but the presence of matriarchal influence in other world cultures is, well -- check out the raft of Korean and Indian movies. 

In a powerful matriarchal system, the grandmother – usually the husband’s mother -- oversees the household and makes all operational decisions. The matriarch may also be biased in favor of her son, regardless of his behavior or how much he contributes to the running of the household. She may feel he is exempt from child-care, laundry, cleaning and other household duties. She will excuse him for any schedule conflict issues for, example, child care. The matriarch may grudgingly acknowledge that the wife is a professional, or that she has a job, but will continue to view her son as the household’s main provider.

This is a single example of matriarchal interference and there are many others demonstrating the painful clash between older generations – oh those aunties -- and cultural expectations with contemporary choices. And there are thousands of years embedded in these biases. Ringing any bells out there?

According to the 2014 study by Wenhe Lin (“Influence of Professional Women’s Work and Family Conflict on the Turnover Intention in Cultural Enterprises," et al) that examines the effects of family conflict on turnover intention, the greater the work and family conflict that professional women face, the greater their tendency to leave their jobs. As a solution, managerial support was recommended to reduce turnover. If that takes the form of flexible hours, it isn’t adequate. Dealing with the effects of familial interference on job performance requires sensitive handling and creativity. Are you there, creative and sensitive managers? 

Even though JK Rowling may believe that “Family is a life jacket in the stormy sea of life” for a professional woman of culture, that life jacket may be a strait jacket. The woman can be a highly successful and respected senior associate in her law firm but once she arrives home she is expected to be subservient to her mother-in-law, fearing conflict and shaming if she objects. If she is invited to present at a forum, or is expected to attend at a 3-day conference, or even if she’s late home -- the stormy sea of life will be generated by her family.

While men of culture also experience such conflict, they still tend to advance in their careers (Padavic, Irene, et al "Explaining the Persistence of Gender Inequality"). Women’s careers often stall as they are trapped between domestic responsibilities, matriarchal pressures and the long hours in their professional jobs. This clearly contributes to the lack of representation at senior levels.

Exhausted? Me, too.

Coaches and practitioners offer programs that address intercultural family interference. But women also need support systems from their workplace to ensure steady professional development, strong job performance, and successful career trajectories. Oh, yes. And just a pinch of sanity.

Creative and supportive options for professional women should be offered by the workplace as an integrative part of career growth. Second call for creative and sensitive managers. Are you listening?

Every woman needs a tribe – a professional support system consisting of a peer group AND managerial input that offers creative strategies so she can thrive. Without a tribe, she will struggle to maintain a plateau, ultimately underperform, receive poor reviews, and, potentially, leave her job.

Give her that tribe and she can move the world--and maybe learn how to handle the matriarch.

Not generated by Chat GPT.